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who you be?


[Thursday, December 4, 2003|01:33 a.m.] [Symphony]chattering teeth o mine

Mou. trained the new girl today
Two words...
She doesn't seem to like making drinks though.
*Has to copyt he recipies for her tomorra*
And now a belabored groan.
I have to close with Wayne tomorrow.
I don't feel like seeing or talking to him
That aside, Orfick said i can come to the party she's going to..
But i barely know her.. and i feel awkward. what to do?
THAT.. and I'm not 21 yet.
And yes. I was too lazy to bother with that *points at it*
but to get immed about it by ALOT of people..
"Did you see what's on your blog?"
*sigh* Yes I did.
"So what ya gonna do?"
Not a damend thing.
This hear is the last bit or recognition it'll be getting.
I've had my theories int he past about it.. and i stick to them
But this is too much.
Working on imbedding my lj asap

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[Wednesday, December 3, 2003|04:29 p.m.] [Symphony]Typing.. lots of it

Debating on imbedding my lj into here.
Then I'd only post once and you guys can comment...
I think I can do it ya know...
but it'll be bye-bye to the layout on lj.
That aside, I held a mock interview with Mana for my newsletter project.
I think I'll give her a copy of it when it's done.
Erm. My project for Fran got corrupted.. but I had backe dit up as an Acobat file
She's like.. ?_? Where is the Quark file?
And I'm like >< IT GOT CORRUPTED!
But I printed it out and such.
It's 90% done.
Now, to start on my 4pg spread ads.
Hell of hells!
Today has just been a barrel of laughs,though.
Chris B. got a digital camera and we're all takin pics and shit
Me smoking.. ONCE!
I don't like it.. STILL.
And I had to do ti twice since they didn't meter the pic right.
then I gave Fang back her ciggie
Mock smoked Todd's ciggie and I think it came out well.
Ugh. Work better be alright tonight.
I have enough stress with projects as is to be dealign with bullshit at work.

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[Tuesday, December 2, 2003|03:43 p.m.] [Symphony]some professor's class i'm in doing my work.. ^^; whoopsies

I got some more magazines from work yesterday.
Imagine my surprize when I was frantically searching for ads to do my projects on..
I had Nov. 2003 VOGUE
Skimming though it i found on pages 344 and 346 a sperad titled "SPECIAL STREET STYLE!" "TOKYO: CARTOON CULTS"
I statred crackin up due to the fact that they have the Gothic lolita bible AND art work from a site I had linked AGES ago.
They interviewed people and such..
Basically it was an all around general article indicating where and about how much it'll cost ya to be EGL from head to toe
They even had some links in there too!
Must check that out later though.
Kristen picked me up at about 10 am.. While I was attempting to clean my room.
Yeah.... and Wayne called my house my mom told me when I called her at about 12.
Oh well. Too bad.
All in all I'm almost getting my projects done...
All except my 5-7 pg research paper!

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[Tuesday, December 2, 2003|03:01 a.m.] [Symphony] i think my comp is possesd.. seriously. i'm hearing sounds.. like voices from it.... O_o;;;;;;;

why am i still up at this UNGODLY hour?

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[Tuesday, December 2, 2003|01:33 a.m.] [Symphony]none

i'm so fuckin sleepy.
bout to phone post but i think it'll turn into some oddity which i want NO ONE to hear. so yeah.
no phone post tonight aboutmy trip.
gotta call Mana and see if we're still on for Sat.
Cus i can find you red if you want red mana.
hrm.. i'm freezing my ass off
my projects are comming along.. yet. the semester is basically over.
i hope i get higher than a C
Also, i still have to do my personality theroy paper
see the lack of correct punctuation?
and my typos? i'm fuckin tired as ballz!
and my eyes seem so dry too
and ... ^_^ i'm expeting manyth ings to happen before the year is done
saw ryan today.. god.. i haven't seen him in ages
and fuckin JUSTIN visited the MAD lab too
my lil 'crombie model!
the boy poses bare chested at various 'crobie stores in nj!
raised some money for toys for tots too.
and omfg
some guy accousted me in the mall today.
-_- not good.
i was going to the guess store to find my sis's b-day gift.. and he's like..
so i ignore him
the ass COMES IN THE STORE and is like:
"Shorty, what your name?"
I turned heel and walked away from him
seriously. who in their right mind answers to pssssssssssssssst?
then i go to square one.. and i swear it was the same guy following me!
i got so freaked my food got cold when i went back to work.
Also... on a lighter note.. ^-^ my boy goes to RU!
ah........... that was some good news.
this other guy i know is tryin to get into princeton.. got a 1500 SAT scroe and STILL has doubts.
*was about to smack him*
i love the smart and cute ones! ^_^
ah.. despite working when i got back from being on the road for mad hours.. i had a good night last night..and tonight too
got out early

and on a completly random note: I love the holidays
it's for families to come together and such
i dunno..maybe because almost all of my aunts and such *mom's side* are near.. but.. i dunno.
i really enjoy seeing my family. aunts, uncles cosuins.. all them!
I was really pained on Thanksgiving to think that some people don't have a family to be with.
really, it upset me alot
and laistening to x-mas carols in the car on the way home..
and singing them in a car full of people..
that's what holidays are about. sharing it with people you love
I was going to cry at one point.. because some people will never know what that feeling of love and togetherness is
the poor dying folk who are int he streets
the miserly old bastards int he hospital who cut off ALL of their family
Family is ALWAYS there i say
I don't now what i'd do if i didn't have my family..
so i guess this is my belated "What are you thankful for" list: ahem
my family.. always.
my friends.. past & present... distanced and .. well. not so friendly anymore
i guess you learn from life is what i say.
i try to walk away from every situation a little bit wiser
I'm thankful for my support from my friends..
for Viv and Lan for being there in the down and dirty times
when i was low with greif over my aunts and cousin
my gripes about shcool, friends, work
withoutthem.. i dunno where i'd be
Ryan, for beliving in me. He and I are similar in some ways.. eventhough he's older than me and we had our dispute in the past.
we may not be like THAT ever again.. but that's ok
My online friends who supported me thought good and bad
thouse whom i say goodnight to when im online.
It's like.. a little wish i want all of ya to have.. a good night i guess.
sinc ethe tirals of the day are so hard to deal with..
my sister... whom i've called a bitch online before..
but that's how family is.. you cant change them.. they shouldn't try to change you.
we're bonding better than ever nowadays
going out to the movies.. and clubbin once i'm 21
my mother whom i love to no end.
though she can frustrate me.. not as much as my dad.. but yeah..
my dad..he';s my dad... um.. yeah..thankful for him..
my lil heart ehtan.. who is such a lil brat now that he's 2
but such an angel when he's good/sleeping
he calms me down when i need it most
and i'm tired now..
also.. big up to RICE-O she got a new layout
and my DIE DIE. you'll be alright
lake baby steps aite. baby steps.
i fear nothing that comes my way. for i have done no wrong.
thought i'd point that out.

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[Monday, December 1, 2003|12:54 p.m.] [Symphony]Setting Sun - The Chemical Brothers

First off, Happy Belated b-day toKP
I'm glad you had fun.
Man is it good to be back..
aside from having to WORK 3 min after I got home..
Which was news to me since even I didn't know I had to come in.
I'm debating if I should do a voice post on lj about it since it was so much to tell
I dunno.
But yeah. While i was away I found a library one day and saw Pura's and Lady Donjyi's NEW LAYOUT!
I did alot of soul searching and thinking while I was away.
I also sought the counsel of my aunts on many things.
I may leave my job too... I'm not sure yet
More on that another time though..
I'm just glad to be home.

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[Friday, November 21, 2003|01:44 p.m.] [Symphony]some random song at the apple store

going for a week to louisiana
miss all of you.
not ime to make a hiatus page either

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[Friday, November 21, 2003|12:53 a.m.] [Symphony]

*yawn & stretch*
work was work.. actually no.
I had to deal witht hat one today
I wa skinda pissed she didn't tell me a head of time
i was unpleasantly surprized when i got in.. 2 hrs before work
So, I arranged my pics in my album and shit like that.
Finally things are falling into place I guess
My school work is.. kinda flowing alright now.
And I get to see my aunties next week.
That makes me happy also.
Hrm what else?
Yeah.. you like that dont ya?
I was being totally real with what I said, too.
He's gotten way outta hand with you and yeah. i hope he doesn't try to pull any shit again

and you.. ?_? wtf?
The FIRST part of that post was NOT directed at you.
Unless you are a boy and i see you on a daily basis..
Hm. that CAN'T be you now can it?
WHEN last have i seen you anyhow? April?
THINK bout that for a bit, aite?
it aint all about you.

and Frankly, i knew you'd delete my link.. it was only a matter of time anyhow..
not like we talked anymore anyhow.
and stalkin whom may i ask?
If i'm talkin to them outside of YOU.. don't worry bout it, ok?
they can tell me if they don't like me
Obviously i'm not DEAD whe you said you didn't like me.
you sad it nonverbally enough times anyhow
anyways, polite my FUCKIN ass. they can so e-mail me and tell me straight up what the deal is.
Most of them have it since i tried to get a nice lil b-day project going for ya this year
And if i see whomever i'mma be like "hey, what's up?"
IF you THINK i'm stalkin anyone, you're mistaken!
And for your info, i work in the mall hun, it's kinda hard NOT TO BE SEEN WALKING AROUND THE MALL ON MY FUCKIN BREAK!
and if you haven't noticed.. hm.. WHERE does the bus stop drop people off?
Oh yeah.. by rainforest cafe
why the FUCK would i go upstairs to come back down agian to go to work?
makes no sense.
I'll go where i damn well please thank ya very much
YOU can't tell me to do SHIT!
And fuck what you want to do. if i see ya i'mma fuckin say hi.
cuz as i've fuckin said OVER AND OVER.. maybe you don't understand.
i don't hate you.
you saying whatever doesn't do shit!
and when the hell did i say i LUST AFTER MIYAVI?
You oggle them, no one denies that fact.
and you even said you were shcoked cuz you liked La'cryma solely for their music
Me saying i LUST after Miyavi...
did i put you down? no? so calm the fuck down
read or don't .. you'll be told anyhow by someone.. like wensday's post.
cuz even though you didn't "like me as a human anymore" for GOD ONLY KNOWS WHY!
you'd still come read my blog? AND you pos tmy artwork on your site too?
*shrug* do you. go on and do you.
IF you hated me so much you'd destroy EVERY TRACE of what i gave you and then some, ne?
so yeah.. prove it
go on and PROVE IT!

also, i made points about fangirlism.. you said beign an a room full of fangirls..
so technically you were callign us that weren't ya?
Now, did i EVER EVER say that you mah dear were any more of a fan than anyone else?
Did you EVER say you;d fuck aso and so RAW?
no, you didn't
so again.. why are you getting mad?
my exageration of fangirlism was to prove the STARK contrast to myself and a fangirl
And piss you off for the last time? Come now, tell em these times? i can name 2? the stupid link back in feb and the movie thing on your blog
so yeah. if you wanna flip out over some simple shit, go on.
that's all you.
And when i said i wanted to call to talk to you, YOU didn't pick up.
as i expected
and you say people don't bring what they say?
what DID I say, hm?
Unless you're harassing my friend/ killed my aunt.. you have NO hatred thrown towards you


you're not harassin my friend so DON'T come and act like I'm POPPIN ANY SHIT WITH YOU.

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[Thursday, November 20, 2003|12:15 a.m.] [Symphony]Head Rush - Joeb the Man

DAMN Todd, Chris and Mike for bustin my schops today
Ah.. where to start?
For a while now I've been doing.. practically all of my projects on a said J-rocker.
Why? Cuz I like him, his music and I have a buttload of pics of him.
So we were doing a newsletter on a company/service of out choice...
needless to say my shit came out PHAT!
But when Todd, Chris AND Mike all went.. "The Transvestite.. AGAIN!?"
I got mad.
So, to prove a point I let them listen to ALL of his songs.. on random.
And ya know what? They liked him.. yet.. they are still disturbed to look at him.
Todd was really gettin into it.. saying "Death metal meets trip hop! I like!"
fuu fuu fuu
That aside, school was aite
Fran left early, hence Scott left early hence WE ALL LEFT MAD EARLY
So I was at work like 2 hrs early since I didn't wanna go home
Went to my fave food place and got my chicken salad that I love so much.
Then, I do some window shopping
The ONLY problem I have with working in the mall/by it is that.. on my break there is NOTHING to do if I usually go to almost all of the stores and browse around

So, I was basically avoiding some one when I got there.. I don't want to see them due to recent occurences.
not like I wanted to see them any-fuckin-how...
but yeah.
I hid away upstairs for a while.
Cuz you see, unlike some... it's pretty obvious when I don't like someone.
As saved as I am/should be... it can't be helped
I have to deal with immaturity WAY to often at home to deal with other people's AND their lying/stupid bullshit!
Hence, I try to be blunt, yet TACTFUL
No. I'm not having a good day thank you very much.
STOP fuckin askin me if I am EVERY FUCKIN TIME YOU SEE ME!
STOP fuckin askin why I look mad. Your very presence irratates me to no end!
And STOP fuckin with my fuckin friends for FUCKS SAKE!

Like I need to tape it to my forhead for you to get it?
You annoy me!
And could you try to keep it to business.. huh? could ya?
NO, I don't wanna hear that so and so is hot!
NO I don't wanna know XYZ about whatever shit you're doing!
Just let me alone already.
I liked it in the past when I was doing *MY* own thing and I was left alone.. more or less by you.
I'm not like them, I don't enjoy stupid games, nor drinking to have fun.
Nor do I enjoy your shallow conversations you TRY to start with me
I wasn't raised like that.

EVERYTIME I hear you speak I wanna beat the shit outta you.
EVERYTIME you try to play dumb makes me TRY to restrain myself from calling you a fuckin IDIOT *insert demeaning adjective here*!
Sorry dear, no one likes you and you're not very welcome
you had a few lucky breaks before. but your luck will run out, you selfish asshole

AND you're a liar too!
That's the worst of all.
And FUCK YEAH i'm still bitter about that other issue to.
So fuck you and what you say.
Loose my link already, Mister.
*omitted due to her being too kind to go that far*
*I* won't even go that far

On to the NEXT rant.
*Holds head*
What is up with that, hm?
Wasn't it *I* who liked whatever music ASIDE from the fact that the artist was or was NOT hot?
On the other hand... you lust after various artists/musicians *hold La'cryma in check* OPENLY
Even going as far to use the same phrases even
Have i ONCE said anything bad aboutt hat?
No. I did not
Nor am I doign so now.
You like what you like for your own resons
If i don't dig Sugi due to his voice.. that' my pref
Pierrot too..
Bashing someone for their own pref in music or ANYTHING is ..
just.. really iditotic actually
*random note: And people ask my why I'm not on Batsu.. cuz to deal with insane bashing and other bullshit like this ALL THE FUCKIN TIME.. NAH UH*
I can honsetly say that Miyavi's newest stuff now can't TOUCH Gagaku.
As I've told you COUNTLESS TIMES..
I can like a song within say.. a few sec of hearing it.
without seeing who sings/plays it
*looking fine is an added bonus in my eyes.*
Anyways,I'm seldom wrong with that.
An opinon is always an opinon and you are clearly entitled to it.
I, however can clarify whatever you had gotten misconstrued along the way.

For instance, there was no. "OMFG! HE'S SO FUCKING HOT!" *DRY HUMPS HIS LEG" bullshit going on
Frankly I am STILL on the fence about the Coo Cluck Quack pv
It's not the usuual "happy go lucky fun fun silly willy" Miyavi pv
And how many times must I say I'm NOT A RAPIST!?!?
NO ONE has EVER heard me say I'd fuck "such and such" RAW>!
On the other hand..
Hence.. "fangirl"..actually no.
Do break that apart sweetness,M'kay?
I'm a "FAN" who is a "GIRL"
Glad to clear that up for ya.
Night all.

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[Tuesday, November 18, 2003|11:32 p.m.] [Symphony]FF6 music

Finally took the pics
Now I'm a popcicle in a corset top
Posted here earlier.
I'vbe also updated the pic link
so the yahoo pics will be comming down.
Yeah.. I'm way too cold now.

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[Tuesday, November 18, 2003|11:32 p.m.] [Symphony]FF6 music

Finally took the pics
Now I'm a popcicle in a corset top
Posted here earlier.
I'vbe also updated the pic link
so the yahoo pics will be comming down.
Yeah.. I'm way too cold now.

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[Tuesday, November 18, 2003|11:32 p.m.] [Symphony]FF"6" music

Finally took the pics
Now I'm a popcicle in a corset top
Posted here earlier.
I'vbe also updated the pic link
so the yahoo pics will be comming down.
Yeah.. I'm way too cold now.

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[Tuesday, November 18, 2003|06:30 p.m.] [Symphony]I Can't Win - The Strokes

the ass.. erm.. face now has a name..
and it's HAKUEI!
Been droolin over this guy for ages.. not know in who the HELL he is.. and Orfick puts up a collage on her lj'
That made me happy!
Jus twaitn for my bro to go.. do.. soem shit somewhere else
not int eh mood to argue
s till kinda full/sleepy
then YAY for fedora pics


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[Tuesday, November 18, 2003|05:32 p.m.] [Symphony]Dry? - Janne Da Arc

Feel better, aite?I ate WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too much when I got home
WAY to damend much
I was all sleepy to begin with but now.. I'm about to pass out.
Anyways, had work at 10am today..
Uneventful day.
With the exception of me getting Battle Royale 3, DD4, my usual mags, and some graphic artbooks.
Spent about 80 bucks total.
Kinda sucks because on sunday I spent hrmm... another say 80 bucks..
I STILL gotta buyt hat cheesecake for Thanksgiving too.
And damnit!
I want that new Victoria's Secret corest thingy int he catalog.. but it's only in nude..
SORRY! Not buying it!
Saw the most LOVELY corset dress on break today.. and I was kinda scared it would only be in pink..
*dry heave* that pinkish powdery roseish color
Nice.. on OTHER people
Returned DD2 today. And basically ordered manga up to January..
Can't wait to see Les Bijioux
It looks so nice
and fuckin!
I want more Hog Gimmick!
Sadly I think I'll have to order Seramphic Feather
The hentai artis who did count down to sex bombs drew it!
Hands down he can draw his ass off!
...And now I feel better.

and I made a voice post on my lj.. a few nights ago.
And yes, you gotta use winamp to listen to it.
*Glomps Yuki*
I sounded like I was drunk/half asleep.. and i was tired as hell.
and damnit..just dozed off.
shit. did it again
now my dad is all bitchin at me to clean
fuck it. i'm out
and Spidah-na, the link for your fansign should work.
I'll scale it on my end and put it on another host.. cus.. yahoo sucks ass when it comes to quality
WHY ON WHY can't people understand that!
and yeah.. gonna put that lyout on my freewebs page..
Thanks for the heads up Eddie.
And Mana got one too
bout to be a lazy ass and cross post in my lj

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[Monday, November 17, 2003|02:18 a.m.] [Symphony]Carnival - the pillows

SimilarMinds Compatibility Results
polkaspots |||||||| 84% |||||||| 80%
babyty ||||||| 72% ||||||||| 90%
6ji30pun |||||||| 84% ||||||| 71%
violet_myst |||||||| 85% ||||||| 67%
gravi4ever |||||| 64% ||||| 55%
kyouhakukannen |||||| 65% |||||| 56%
deux |||||| 64% |||||| 55%
yohtan |||||| 57% |||||| 59%
similarity complementarity  
How compatible are you and your friends?

hee hee!
all i'mma say tday.. i NEVER knew i could screm curs AND walk/run so fast to work.
after he punched out.. he sat in the cafe and read some maps of DC
he's doing it for some rp.. or soemthing.. he writes.. i gather
i even helped him fidn the map. ^_^
I know guys aren't to bright when it comes to girls likint hem.. but i mean DAMN BRO!

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[Sunday, November 16, 2003|04:06 p.m.] [Symphony]SPace walk - John Howard

Hai, mah spidah-na.. I too did as Niikura did **huggles you both*
ah well. t'wasn't to be
Wnet to my sister's bf sister's 2st bday party!
MY lil monica.. erm.. it hoguth she was YOUNGER than me..
ya see.. i trained her at my first job.a nd we both got along so well so yeah.
I gotta get her that Tyrese *sp* album
she was all crying when she got her gifts. it was so cute
and at first, when i got there..i was kinda up under my sis,her bf and Monica.. cuz i didn't know her family likethat
then whent he older people left we the younger people took over
it was about15 of us byt eh bar.. and the ohter side of the room was family. we all were havin shots and shit.. bein allloud
and the family wa slike ^^;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; WTF?
danced a bit. drank a bit..
i told her to buy me a bottle for my b-dayB so yeah man. DEFINATELY having a 21st b-day party.. of some sort
gotta start planning.. -_-v
but i had fun thought. i'm glad i went
hrm.. what else about yesterday?
that's it really
*is so glad her trillian has all of her im people on it
now.. if only i can get yahoo and msn to work again
and SHIT! i gotta burn the strokes cds for tonight
sux i didn't work yesterday.. i didn't get to see my hot boy
BOY not BOI!
.. hopefully *crosses fingers*
today. i got woken up at 7 by my mom to get ready for curch.. B i was so tired form last night.. i'm like.. *flops back in bed*B then she left at about.. 8ish? 9ish? i don't remember.
i went right back to sleep and didn't get up till 12
got dre4ssed and went to the mall
AH! picked up my pics form ritz photo,bought my newe fedora,got soem eats, bought ANOTHER corset shirt too
^_^fun day!
i Found out today that i can use my discount at GameStop also!
to bad i'm not into video games, nor know anyone who should get one
*pointed look at joel and daniel*
THEY getbooks this x-mas!
and shit. i gota get my sis a b-day AND an x-mas gift
AND i gotta get Mana a b-day gift too
both of them are the same day
*holds head* my momney is disappearing oncve again
and Spidah-na!
you 100% sure you don't need DD2?
cuz i'mma return it on monday.B you have yahoo and msn rioght? im me and we'll talk

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[Friday, November 14, 2003|06:09 p.m.] [Symphony]Automatic Stop - The Strokes

The last two days.. have been up and down for me.
First was the bullshit BEFORE work..
Now I shall tell you about the other bullshit I had to deal with yesterday.
I'm on my way to work when I see Viv.
So, I ask her why she isn't at work?
Seems like when Viv called in work that day Jonathan told her to come in.
By the time she came in... Wayne was like, go home
So she was tellin me how mad Wayne was at me.
For quote: "switchin mah schedule behind his back"
THEN he DARES to bring up the fact that I had to change my requested days off *which I had done WAY in advance mind you*
He was like she want and told me for two days then she askes for a week!
WHAT does that have to do with Kim the STORE MANAGER messin up the schedule?
*I* had nothing to do with it. -__-#
Anyways, I'm gettin livid and loud all up in the mall over his bullshit
I tell Viv I'll call her later and off to work I go.
I get in about 15 min early and I go straight to the break room.
Then I clock in and head to do my work
But me being SUNSHINE and all, I ask Wayne ever so sweetly, "Did you happen to get my message last night? I was so worried since you didn't call me back."
HE goes off.
And he's all like you went and swtiched with viv and blah blah.
I'm like no. KIM did that so randomly and I had to reming HER that Viv is only 20 hrs
THEN he's like oh why didn't you tell me about the funeral first?
I told him basically, that I didn't even punch in when I told Kim about it.
That shut him up.
I was like.. everyone knew it was maybe Friday but I wasn't 100% since Tommy was being difficult
Anyhow.. the CINCHER of the evening was when some lady bought an Oatmeal cookie and a decaf coffee
I'm trying to tell his pokey ass NOT to give her those cookies as I poor her her coffee
she pays and leaves and I'm on my 30 min break..
That was all because Wayne had to switch around my break due to Viv going home.
So I'm griping to Leah about this shit I gotta deal with.
after that I'm heading towards the break room, and i see the decaf &cookie woman.
before she says it, i'm like "You DID want decaf right?"
she goes on and on about havign her heart fluttering and shit
s he was scared that sher had regular
Listen. I was 100% SURE I gave her decaf
but her being all worried made me doubt and start to worry TOO!
I try to find a manager so i can see the security tapes to see where I stood
The lady is like. "I'm ok I'm ok. I only had 1 cup! I just need to know if I had regular so I can take care of it properly."
so yeah. I'm really worried.
I'm like shit.. I'm not 100% sure. I'm doubting myself now because of it.
SO i'm like Wayne, I'mma get Jen to let me see the security tapes to be 100% sure
I NEVER mess up on decaf drinks.. unless the others DON'T TELL ME IT'S DECAF!
She TOLD ME it was decaf, and since it's all I can DRINK I'd never mess it up!
.. shit. more later. going to the movies with my sis and bro
the funeral was at CCC and Elder Pointer did the service thingy.
Auntie Marva would have been proud. t-t*happy tears*
Mah liddo cousin Danika was loved by so many people it seems.
but more details later.

so yeah. Wayne is like "Har har. I hope she'll be ok .. or else that'll be ANOTHER funeral you'll be going to."
THAT folks.. totally devistated me.
my hands were shakin and shit.. so yeah.. I was upset.. HIGHLY upset
Upset enough to spill milk all over the counter
Upset enough to cry about it in that very same spot.
Not sobbing. But I was just.. trembling so much!
I HATE being all weak and vulnerable like that.. thank GOD Wayne was not around.
blah blah.
The rest of the night was uneventful.. aside from Greg Miller playing my CD when we closed!
*happy dance* yeah yeah.. Nu Jazz.. but next time it'll be Miyavi!

I was up late with my mom cookin food for the funeral and I didn't get to bed before.. say.. 3:30 am?
THEN my dad is being an ass this morning going RAR RAR! YOUR ROOM IS FILTHY RARRRRR!
THAT was at 6amish!
I'm obviously PISSED OFF sicne i cleande the room last weekend!
fuck that man. I got up and got ready for the funeral.
Then blah blah skip some stuff.. amily my dad being the ass he usually is..
my mom comes back home with Rose, her pastor friend and we all go. except Ethon and Joel
We get to CCC.. somehow.. I was asleep the WHOLE drive!
Walk intot he curch and head to the casket.
My little cousin..
She looked so different from 2 Months ago.
she looked so tiny int hat casket man..
granted she's 5'1"
Tommy as was expected showed up only after they closed the casket and started the service
many nice things were said by friends *her BESTfriend actually*B ppor girl...they both went through alot together in life
Knew each other since 9th grade and all
Havign that must be nice I guess...B I wouldn't know
I never used to let people get close to me..
I dunno if I ever will after all of this.. this.
anyhow. her bf of 5yrs came upB i remember the guy form family functions so yeah
he was takign it so hardB and what got me is.. the pastor thought she was saved..BR<. i don't think she wasB ans when he kept saying you'll see her later.. it made me sad
but yeah.. all and all a lovely LOVELY service
Tommy left againw hen they opened the casket for a final viewing
Rissa, his wife.. i dunno man..Blike.. we made eyecontact whens he was leaving.. and she didn't even make any jesture of hello or anything.. AT ALL!
compared to Auntie Marva's funeral.. she was a fuckin ice queen for Danika's funeral.
Chyna, Tommy's babies *2 girls* mother was sitting by me
I became her support person
I held her as she cried and such
Towards the end I began to cry.. out of the blue.. and my sister hugged ME!
*I'M* the huggy one.. she's not.. never was
and I worried about how I'd deal if any of them died on me
Tommy ALWAYS had his mom and sister.. it was only three of them.. since FOREVER!
If Rissa wasn't there.. I'd worry if Tommy would have killed himself over this
So yeah.. I love my family.
Got home at about 6pmish.. tired and feeling much better
My sis calle dup her BF and we went tot he movies at about 8ish
Saw Elf.
It was a cute movie
Funny as hell too.
And that's how I've been.
Yum! Die
Die: You like your guys loud and obnoxious! Clad in
casual reds and greens.. No! It's not
Christmas, it's Die! Never too cold for those
sunglasses to shade your eyes from his heat.

Which Dir en Grey member should sex you up?
brought to you by Quizilla
and yeah..I wanted to do something durignt he funeral. but no energy t o do it today.. maybe tomorrow.. but I'm not in the mood to be ignored/hung up on

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[Thursday, November 13, 2003|04:15 p.m.] [Symphony]You talk way too much - the strokes

have you ever been pissed off to NEAR TEARS!?
that wasd me.. only a few mopments ago.. like.. if i couldn't hurt something/one in like 2 sec i'd seriously go CRAZY!
I had to get my deposti for Danika's casket right..
no tlike i'mma be late for work or anything. i was worried thw Wachivia one would be down.. and i won't have my deposit for tomorrow morning

off topic: my mom and i watched a slide show of pics of Danika latnight/thins morning
i wasn't even sad.
and that scared me.
like.. yeah.. she died many years ago instead f.. a week ago
sucks though. her 20th bday is almost a month away too
the holidays will so suck this year
no pasta from auntie marva.. more importantly.. NO AUNTI MARVA OR DANIKA!
and all this tupid family shit goin on too
and now i have a headache due to the stupid atm bulshit.
i don't wanna deal with patrick today so i'mma wait till 4:45.. soemwhere in the mall
i dunno where yet.
=_=# fuckin a!

good point of today? made an enlargement of that Obscure Kyo cosplay Mana did for Halloween then again. i was printing another pic off that same roll
and they all had the same tonal value

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[Thursday, November 13, 2003|01:55 a.m.] [Symphony]Under Control - the strokes *cant stop playignthe cd* LOVEEEEE IT!

Joy, my cousin from Canada, sent me this e-mail.. thought I'd share it
Maybe..only 4 of you will get it and relate.
I'll clarify if you need me too.
You Have A Black Mother If

1. You've ever been called from downstairs, upstairs, the back of the house, or from the front of the house to fix her a glass of ice water, get her the remote control, or change the channel
2.  You've ever been hit with an extension cord,  a switch or the nearest shoe.
3. You've ever had to pick your own switch off the tree and she sent you back b/c the switch you got was to small
4. You've ever been burnt on your ear with the HOT COMB
5. You've ever been hit in the head or knuckles with a hairbursh or comb
6. You've been told to "Shut Up or I'll give you something to cry about "
while she beats you with a belt-pronouncing every syllable --- "Didn't ---
I -- tell ---- you --- not--- to --- do --- that --- *!*!$? --- no --- more?
7. Your ponytails were so tight you got those little bumps around the edge of your scalp.
8. The white people in the school office ie: principal, secretary, etc. were scared of her.
9. You were scared to go home hwen you got a bad report card
10. Alcohol, peroxide, cocoa butter, and vaseline were the main items in your bathroom cabinet.
11. You were never "on punishment" just got whippins str8 out of the bathroom shower
12. You've ever been pinched for going to sleep in church
13. She made you participate in every church activity (choir, Jr. Usher
Board Easter play, Christmas play, etc.)
She ever came inside and picked you up from a school dance in hair
rollers and her gown or pajamas on under her coat.
15. When you ask her for something, her response is..."You got a job?"
16.  You've ever been beaten for something your brother or sister did,
just because you were around.
17. She vacuums everyday just so the carpet can have lines in it.
18. You've ever been told to turn off the TV, get off the phone, or sit
down and be quiet when it's storming outside because the Lord was doing his work
19. You've ever been hung up on...for calling her collect.
20. Friends, family and friends of the family try to keep you out of
trouble because they know your mother and how she is.
You were afraid to call the child abuse hotline.
22. She has to pray to GOD.."Lord, please don't let me hurt this child!!" Before she gives you a whippin
If You Can Relate To Any Of This Then Pass It On To All Ya Friends And See If They Can Relate To Knowing That

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[Wednesday, November 12, 2003|12:46 p.m.] [Symphony]Reptilia - the strokes

Guess who should be working on her newsletter?
*raises hand*
Guess who ain't doing that very same thing?
*raises hand*
Went on a merry hunt for Lin-Lin's blog again
i only linked the diaryland one.
Shout out to Pura, Spidah and Hikari.. yeah only *I* can call ya that now right?
Sachi and Dana who both seem to have droppe dof the face of the earth
T-T I miss imming them alot.
had Personality Theory class about an hour ago.
I like Skinner's view on personality

anyways. the funeral is Friday.. and i'm debating on if I should hang with Mana on Saturday.. or not
i guess it all depends on how i feel at the funeral

My mom learned.. from Tommy HIMSELF that he doesn't LIKE CCC and he thinks my aunts and them are fanatics i mewan shit man. they pray alot, yeah. but your sister is DEAD man!
FUCKIN! my mom told me he couldn't "see" his mom in a coffin so THAT'S why Auntie Marva didn't have one
NOT like i had thought: they couldn't afford one!
and he said the same shit about Danika's funeral too
and granted. yeah. if you fdei why DO you need a fancy coffin?
but shit man.. there is toher people ..
she's not a heap o' oranges or soemthing
so yeah. i'll look bad.
i he don't like it.. they can cover the coffin in white sheets or soem shit.
i'm really torn on the whole thing to tell the truth.
I was happy auntie marva died.
she was ina lot of pain
so seeing her laying there on that sheet didn't phase me much
but her sisters and brother want things done properly.
i'mma not think about it and put in my deposit for the coffin anyways

*sigh* where was i?
oh yes. decided to do my newsletter on Nifty International Web Translation Co.
they are what i use to translate Miyavi's blog posts
very good site

speakin ofMiyavi I need to track my packages now

and.. saw some sexy layouts.. gonna make some later on... in the year. T-T
unless i take that graphics class at F.I.T in the winter..
not sure yet...
:/ and..


yeah.. kinda small but were the ONLY club to have them!!
our mag is gonna be so fuckin hot this year!
FUCK TODD AND MARIA of they wanna take down our anime posters!
we decorate the room to represent us
and they are free to do the same!
but to tell Cat to maybe get rid of them


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[Tuesday, November 11, 2003|05:47 p.m.] [Symphony]Ware aru beki basho - MUCC

i want a radio blog!
DONGYI has one
and yeah i'm too lazy to put a link
btu yeah. i need to get my own server space, man
-_- so much i wanna do but i can't
like use that sexy layout i've been saving
sepakin of which. i need to use those Kirito pics form tha tmag i have
knows 0.0000000000% about Pierrot.. and i don't feel like learning more at this time
his voice grates my nerves. but DAN-KUN keps saying Yuugai no Tenshi is a bad starter song
and that i should have listened to Mad Sky.. or some other song
ANYHOW. it wa shis photoshoot in.. UV (i forget)
and i LOVED the pics and how they were done!
and i got the Kyo interview in some other mag..but i'm too lazy to go to my room to find out what it was
and the Gackt interview in Patti Patti.. or.. paddi paddi.. i dont' fuckin remember
i was like AH! I CAN USE THIS IN AN AD! *_________*
speakin of mags. i got my money order back from j-xyz... odd people never got mah shit
so i sent my pre-order for Galyuu *looooooooooooooooooooove the pv clip on btw*
for Brand -x AND my money order for my photoessay book/ shoxx oct issue money order AGAIN to j-xyz.
this BETTER fuckin work this time.
and shit..someone wants to buy my stuff.. but they are in JAPAN..and i dunno what i want in japan

i have NO idea what to get in return
and i dont' mind having a barter thing going in Japan either.
but i really dunno what i want.
WHAT ELSE? hm.... work was work today.
put DD vol 4 and Battle Royale vol 3 on hold today.BR<. i don't get it
t he STORE gets it before *I* get MY order of it. *I* put in MONTHS AGO!
i even pre-ordered maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad issues or manga comming out and such in advance
Finished Blood Cantalice btw..
i think i need to read the other books. :P
some things didnt' add up..and what sucks.the other books AREN'T HARDCOVER!!
some are..some aren't
i can't library them out if they are paperback
but it was good though.. then again.. i was like.. ?_? this refers to.. whom? i don't know them/their story
so i was totally lost
i need to not stay up so damned late too
anyhoo. showed ARIEL my hyde cereal box project.
she liked it alot
and damn. AKIO. i only did ONE sketch of ya.. and .. i don't like it's only a head shot now
pardon the inu ears
it'll be on my yahoo page
i need a damned host already. -_-
mah poor negelcted sessssssssi layout!
it demands to be used!
well the TWO of them anyhow.

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[Sunday, November 9, 2003|03:27 p.m.] [Symphony]her new the strokes album!! SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

happy birthday pura!!

Talked to the cute one yesterday.
he's so fuckin hot man!
put my albums on hold, came back & bought them from him!
he likes them too it seems!
yay! also, i'm going senile it seems. i didn't think i put my 2 issues of spin on hold on.. ?_? fridayB but i did!
so no worries
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh julian and nick!
and this post totally lacks any substance.. like most.
but how cares?!
LOVE that damned manga!
erm.. and DD2
Spidah.. i dunno. i don't really need anything.. ?_?
um... i gotta think abotu it
maybe just pay the shipping cost?
i dunno?
i'll rush deliver it
but that'll be WAY more than wha ti it costs w/o my discount..
gotta think this over
and to alay your fears. yes. i'm fine
no i haven't cried since the last time.
i will at the funeral.. like last time.
i dunno. i love my family,and were close.
we're not estranged and all that rot
so yeah.. i can cry eaasily whe n it pertains to them
and when it comes to friends.. or people i know. i guess i can empathize with them
speaking of empathy, in Personality Theory class we were covering Carl Rodgers.. humanist pyschologyst
it's so hard to give unconditonal postive reguard*aka support*
as in.. empathizing and detecting a person's emotions through their actions and speach
and being able to relay it BACK to them so they don't take what you say as a pack of shit basically
we did a roleplay in class about it.
my proff was some big shot in manhattan who smoked weed to de-stress on teh ferry ride home.
his wife nags him and is taking psych and his job is stressful
he got busted by the cops and has to come to therapy or he'll go to jail
Tres cool stuff!
so yeah.. everytime we asked the question wrong, he'd becoem a wiseass and try to turn it around on us
it was so hard to do.
and sicne i'm the one people ask advice form.. i leanred i was only giving CONDITIONAL positve reguard..
aka. i was being a parent to whomever wanted my help
that was a major blow for me.
i eventually got the hang of it though
so yeah. i'mma end here.. cus my hqnds are freezing.

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[Saturday, November 8, 2003|12:55 p.m.] [Symphony]Leave me now Herbert, Fool on the Planet - the pillows

and this phone won't stop ringing
i'm getting flash backs of April 2002
and it fuckin hurts so bad
at least *I'M* not giving the bad news this time.

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[Saturday, November 8, 2003|12:39 p.m.] [Symphony]Half Pain - Bana

posted on lj.
it's over...
may she finally rest in peace.

nuff said

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[Friday, November 7, 2003|10:28 p.m.] [Symphony]none.

ahhhhhhhhh! FINALLY on my comp!
*molests it*
momma missed her monster
it was so bad today...B as in.. physically taxing
the coldness of today crept into my bones.. making me walk kinda funny
then i was so tired helping Kirsten scan pics for our art project..
he did some crazy ass shit man
the only thing i was awake to do today was e-mail j-xyz and brand x to tell them i sent my payment
gave tehm tracking e-mails too
this shit better fuckin workt his time. -_-#
anyhow. my body is being nice to me at the moment..B must be all the drugs in my system.
advil is my blessing man.
and shit. i can't find my perscribed 600 mg of ibprofen my doctor gave me
that's my pain busta!
i've been HORRIBLE to my body since i came back from Trinidad.
not takign my coolings and juicing like i should..
not like i have TIME toB but if i can make time to blog and listen to Meev.. i can juice a fuckin apple or two
ang i showed my dad the small spaces room design book i libraried out of work.
he's like. ?_? it has no carpentry stuff in it!
adn i'm like.. eyah it does.. i can build my bed alogn the all.. sine all i need id my mattress
though i'm thinking of getting a futon form Ikea..
i dunno yet..
gotta get my bank accoutn out of the ICU and shit.
cuz X-mas is gonna kill it if i don't hold off.

and shit.. gotta start lookin for my Adler information for my research paper.
this girl who's in my class AND my color photo class AND my major is doing him too..
so ... hmmm. joint project?
His name is Justin.. and he doesn't sound like a surfer dude.?
i was all slick. since old boss greg miller.. aka MILLER TIME
yeah.. anyhow. i asked him when he was workign..a nd as soon as i leave.. greg is like.. oh. btw. he's here..
since he was the ONLY one int hat section... i was waiting byt he anime stuffB i ask him to help me find something.. and we start talking about music.. and the strokes..
cuz i saw 2 issues of spin i MUST OWN!
it had julian and nick on it!
i love nick. he's pretty!
anyhow. i'm like. Oh! you're new aint ya? and he's like... yeah.
then he's like you're cafe right? and i was like. how'd you guess.. i'm in all black, head to toe
and he's like i did cafe at another store.
I really watned to stay and chat soem more with him.. btu i had to leave..
fuckin buses. -_-
but he;s so cute though!
^_^ yay! and he's working tomorrow too!
anyhow.. saw my lik beauty of a man during my 30 min break much earlier.. B i nearly plowed into him by accident though.B damend cd player batteries dying on me
i was changign them as i headed to Ciao Bella for my chicken salad you see
anyhow, so we nearly bump into each other
and he was like.. omg are you ok! and i'm like. yeah. i'm fine. thanks though. *small smile*
and he wa slike, you sure?
and i'm like. yeah *laugh* thanks
and we parted ways
T-T i wish i needed to go to his damend store for something though.
and i saw 'Manuel when i was heading for the bus.
i was like.. O_o eh? you're HERE? and he was like.. i work here now. and i'm like ah cool. gtg. goign home

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[Thursday, November 6, 2003|07:39 p.m.] [Symphony]none.

phenomenally BAD week i'm having.
><#### FUCKIN A MAN!
my mom forgets to drop me to work...
so mi had to FLAG DOWN my dad when i see him pullin up our street
omg.. i had a Miyavi dream last night.
it was cool.
i was at his concert
i was back stage even
he was playing with a yellow puppy.. don't ask me why..
and we chit chatted about stuff. i plauyed with his dog too.and he spoke english with NO ACCET... jsut .. it was kinda broken
. and he kept saying pervy random shit.. like.. I'm nipply very much *cute lil meev laugh*
and i was like O-o Miya-sama.. you're such a perv
and he kept laughing and we had fun
then i'm in some clothing store that's some how the gift shop for the concert
for some reason Mana was supposed to be with me. anyhow.. theni see somebody who i vaguely know.. and she's like/.. under a table.. kinda lying underit
and she's all like blah blah! you fuckin liar! you're not a real fan@
stop lying and telling ewveryone you went back stage some security guy takes it and deletes the pics.. it was a cute ass pic.
so yeah.. i had no proof of being backstage and i was so upset.B and i NEVER dream about RL ppl ya know.
but then again.. when i find something out it'll efffect me that damend much i guess.
:/ backt o fuckin work.
moer ont hat when i get home.
-_- fuck patrick too. that asshole!
i'm sick of all of this shit.. realy.
it's making me so unhappy.

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[Tuesday, November 4, 2003|10:40 p.m.] [Symphony]Lullaby - The Anodyne

Made a wallpaper of Akira from Baroque.
^-^ Yay for being bored!
T-T na, Pura. miss you lots!
It'll be ok. you'll kick everyone's ass during your presentation
I say do it on RIAA and J-rock.. or something
I guess your teacher gave you guys a topic already.
Also, Rice-o had a good point in her blog
My grammer and typing skills have gotten so BAD since i blog
look! a lowercase post
*hangs head in shame*

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[Tuesday, November 4, 2003|08:25 p.m.] [Symphony]

i'm bored.
who wants a picture drawn for them?
i need some thing to do.
hm... should i post spoilers on it
naw. that'd be too evil.
you did all of that sans tablet!
i respect you soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much now!

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[Monday, November 3, 2003|08:20 p.m.] [Symphony] fear factor.. -_- stupid bitches saying stupid ass stuff on there

Take the Which Stroke are you? Quiz

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[Monday, November 3, 2003|02:25 p.m.] [Symphony]


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[Saturday, November 1, 2003|02:19 p.m.] [Symphony]nada

ok. i got most of the kinks out of this layout.. except the pic thingy..
damend server o' mine..
it wont let me direct link.. and iframes look wonky
i i gotta wait.
anyhow, all of you guys NEW links are in there
No, i never forgot to put you guys.. i was jsut too lazy to go in and add them before.
not like i dont' talk to all'ya on lj anyhow.
it's almost 5.. won't be going to the mall to get my shit done...
damend html sappin my time!
and AYA! I have loads of lj codes~!!
I dunno how to give one to ya though...
:/ you're never on
and fuckin. Megan form B&N told me about friendster ages ago.. then Kara got it..
so yeah.. i added her..
she's the only other person i know of who has it.
all my other contacts don't use it.
they use aim, yahoo, msn, irc, soulseek, trillian, etc...
so, if any of all'ya have it just e-mail me and i'll add ya back.

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